Recently the LDS church has come under fire for distributing a survey among students of BYU which included the following question:
What is your sexual orientation?
- I am heterosexual, but I struggle with same-sex attraction.
- I am heterosexual and do not struggle with same-sex attraction.
- Other (please specify):
The obvious problem with this question is that the only answer you can choose (without marginalizing yourself into the “other” category) is that you’re a heterosexual. As some have pointed out, not every person on earth/at BYU is a heterosexual. If this were the case, there would be no need for the term “heterosexual” as there would be no alternative to distinguish it from.
Here at the Cultural Hall, we wondered what other questions might have been included on this survey. Here’s what our crack team of investigators were able to dig up:
April 2014 BYU survey:
What is your sexual orientation?
- I am heterosexual, but I struggle with same-sex attraction.
- I am heterosexual and do not struggle with same-sex attraction.
- Other (please specify):
Do you like cheese?
- Yes
- Yes, but I don’t eat it because I am vegan/I am dairy intolerant/I don’t enjoy the taste.
- Other (please specify):
Do you have diabetes?
- No, I do not have diabetes.
- No, my insulin shots balance out my glucose levels.
- Other (please specify):
What is your race?
- I am white.
- I am white, with some extra melanin.
- Other (please specify):
Are you a virgin?
- Yes.
- Yes, technically.
- Other (please specify):
Have you ever used marijuana?
- No, I have never tried marijuana.
- No, because I didn’t inhale.
- Other (please specify):
Do you ever use swear words?
- No, I don’t cuss.
- Heck no, I don’t freaking cuss.
- Other (please specify):
Do you watch R-rated movies?
- No
- No, but I struggle with same-sex attraction.
- Other (please specify):
The survey results are in! As it turns out, BYU is the straightest, whitest, healthiest, most chaste, drug-free, cheese-loving university on Earth! This is the 139th year in a row that BYU has earned this prestigious honor. Keep up the good work, BYU survey team!
Y’know, my support of same-sex couples being able to marry comes from a liberty standpoint because 1) I would not want someone telling me what to do with the person I love and 2) they are already engaging in the sinful behavior so what difference does it make if they sign a marriage license? Right?
But something about this blog really makes me cringe for our country and the world. I was about to ignore it since so much of the world is the same. But something told me to respond to this one. Perhaps it was the ignorance and lies of omission in this blog. This blogger is woefully naïve but fancies himself a defender of human rights against the tyranny of organized religion. Does anyone here know how survey’s get distributed on college campuses? Anyone care to raise their hands? I’ll tell you. They are distributed by student groups or grad students performing research projects in very narrow and controlled environments. Surveys don’t necessarily get reviewed by school administration or even faculty for that matter. Yet this blogger’s intent is to make the school and thereby the LDS church appear bigoted. Bravo, you have now accomplished the same skill level as Sean Hannity in your media career: The creation of more divisions among us.
I would suggest opening your minds and trying to see this from the point of view of the people who designed such an ill-worded survey. Undoubtedly they are LDS, likely raised in a family with very long-established values and now attending a university that espouses those or very similar values. Thus far in life they have been exposed to only a very narrow slice of the wide spectrum of human experience, belief and opinion (which I have come to learn through experience is not always a bad thing, for in order to have diversity, we need to have cultures and opinions grow in various levels of isolation), and therefore they wrote a very ill-worded survey before they have reached a point in life when they can call themselves a professional at anything. If it did get reviewed by faculty, perhaps they thought it was a good starting point for the student project or perhaps they saw the error but are allowing the students to go forward with the survey as-is for the learning experience since, in case you missed it, the survey was conducted at an institution of learning where I thought we were supposed to be open minded (which means you don’t go ape when someone has the wrong idea or makes a mistake).
And can anyone read the intentions of their hearts from such a short survey? At least BYU is allowing such study to be conducted. At least there are people in the LDS church who are trying to learn more about this issue. Perhaps they are very open minded like you all but were overly careful in their wording or thought that such wording might help people to feel they could answer more honestly and safely in their current social setting. Perhaps they hold your exact same opinion and want to liberate homosexuals at BYU, but worded the survey that way to keep it bland and avoid attention while they get more data on the LGBT populace at BYU whom they would like to stand up for. The point is you just don’t know. You don’t know, you don’t know, you don’t know and guess what! That’s not a bad thing, so stop making things up.
BUT, here comes Mr. blogger! The armchair revolutionary of the modern age! Sitting in the comfort if his parent’s basement, patrolling the information super-highways for any signs of injustice and,…‼ What’s this?? The Mormons are at it again‼ This cannot be tolerated! The world must know what our hero has misunderstood‼ So he will flex his virtual brain muscles and thwart the evil BYU-endorsed-hatred of anyone who is “other” by designing a survey of his own to ensure that the entire world has a chance to see that a very narrow single isolated survey is the smoking-gun evidence we have been seeking all along to know that Mormons secretly hate anyone who … well, anyone we want people to think the Mormons hate. … Wow! This internet thing lets us be so clever!
If you have any respect for yourself, don’t waste your time with this type of garbage. Learn to filter through the masses of information we are inundated with daily by adhering to eternal principles. Giving credence to this would qualify as “being tossed about by every wind of doctrine” and it will require significant intellectual effort to right the course of the ship of your life in progressing towards your goals. The best way to help anyone or any group, is to first get out there and succeed at your own goals first. You can only lift from a higher position. It is antithetical to your cause to try to pull others down.
**Disclaimer. I still don’t know why I wanted to reply to this blogger. Something made it seem like a worthwhile chance to practice as this is something that the LDS people will have to face more frequently as we become more successful throughout the world. And I know I was being hypocritical in my description of the blogger. Maybe he’s a brain surgeon and his parents live in “his” basement. But I think you will understand how it was part of the exercise. I thank you for understanding.
But…. the LDS church is a bigoted organization. BYU is no different. It’s where little Mormon girls go to meet return missionaries so they can have 8 kids and continue the whole damn corrupt system. I used to think that all religion was like that, but since moving away from Utah, I’ve learned that a large portion of religious people don’t hate me because I’m gay. They don’t want to see obscene PDA, but who does? Heaven forbid that I walk around holding hands with my boyfriend anywhere in Utah, though.
This is an important article because it’s pointing out their flaws. The time is over for us to ignore how they have their own little bubble around the state. It IS an institution of learning, and they need to start acting that way.
How come no one mentioned the “What race are you” question? I found it more offensive than the heterosexual one.
And obviously the whole survey is phrased the same way do you like cheese…
yes…
yes…
Do you swear…
no…
no…
Look- It does not take extreme intellegence to come to the conclusion that that wasn’t the actual survey. You can tell from the sarcastic tone of the writing that this is meant as a satirical approach to an issue as it was percieved by the author. BYU is not being racist or assuming that everyone is white. The author is just trying to appeal to a wide audience by using humor. You just happen to be a part of the small percentage of people that simply just don’t get it.
Alonso, its a logical fallicy to assume that all sexual lives can be reduced to a narrow choice of hetero, hetero, or other. The author rightfully mocks the ridiculous nature of this survey because it isn’t scientific, it isn’t reliable data, and it only served a purpose of making students feel awkward and collecting data that has no meaning other than to promote something that isn’t verifiable.
Your ad hominem attack of the author is telling of your motivation to write a comment. You’re angry that he’s critical of the school.
Anytime anyone tries to classify and fuel prejudice against a minority group because of gender, race, religion, sexual orientation, etc… It should be mocked, called out, and put to shame. This author did you a service. He very obviously pointed out the logical fallacies involved in BYU’s survey, and I appreciate it and value his contributions and opinions.
@Ashley, It doesn’t take extreme intelligence. Just intelligence.